The Coolest Umbrellas on Earth.

Samurai!!!

Hellz Bellz Summer 2009.

txts frm lst nght.

(404): It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
(1-404): No one shows this much boob at breakfast

(510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

(303): erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on

(305): If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?

(619): wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
(1-619): maybe you did when you were drunk
(619): no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.


Some textin' Canadians:

(778): I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
(604): That's weird, I usually just count sheep (I wish I was as witty as this fellow 604er)

(416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home (This person was for sure getting vodka showers at dance like you fuck)

(514): just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed. (I hope this was someone I know in montreal texting someone I dont like in montreal)

(226): forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions. (This person is just giving Western the name it deserves. I want my 226 area code back)

lost/found.

I found a bike and purse this morning at 5:30 while searching for mine.

REWARD- 50 bucks and hopefully enough good bike karma to bring mine home..

I MISS MY NAKAMURA 7000S! (even if the handle bars were so 1999..)

To spend or not to spend... (200 bucks)

Should I purchase?

more !!!!!!!!!!!

Best party of your life.
July 20.
Garfs.
Be there.

This can go die. I JUST WANNA WATCH JON & KATE!

Remember Post Secret?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nuff said.

Breakfast Sushi.

Complete with eggs and bacon.

ya so 4 blog posts one day, s my d.

You know those friends you've had since grade 2 that you just know will always be around?
Even though she reads Yummy Mummy and is in love with Kate Gosselin, Steph is one hell of a BFF. You know its true friendship when she offers to adopt potential sextuplets!

Ok, so we've all had a weekend to unwind after the Grey's finale. Now it's time to discuss. Who's dead? Who's alive? Who cried the hardest...



God i'm a sucker for this show. So excited for next season already!

Stuff White People Like #124

Often it can be easier to find common ground with a white person by talking to them about something you both hate. Discussing things you both like might lead to an argument over who likes it more or who liked it first. Clearly, the safest route is mutual hatred. When choosing to talk about something that white people hate, it’s best to choose something that will allow white people to make clever comments or at the very least feel better about themselves. Currently, the easiest way to do that is to ask a white person for their thoughts on people who wear Ed Hardy.

Ed Hardy is a clothing company that makes a wide range of expensive t-shirts, hoodies, and jeans. These clothes are notable for their use of elements from classic tattoo design such as skulls, hearts, and dragons. On the surface, the use of the words “classic” “tattoo” and “t-shirt” would seem like a logical fit for white people, but it is not. White people hate these clothes unilaterally and it is advised that you merely accept that at face value. If you were to ask a white person to explain why a regular size dragon logo is ok but one that goes around the neck is not, you would be trapped in a long and fruitless conversation.

To put this in proper perspective, Ed Hardy is so hated by white people that it cannot be worn ironically. This is no small feat. As it stands, the only other entries in this category are Nazi Uniforms, Ku Klux Klan Robes, and self-tanner.

Since you cannot in good conscience have an Ed Hardy themed party, the best way to make use of this white hatred is to give your stories a little more appeal to white people.

For example, if you take the reasonable but not compelling story: “I got cut off in traffic this morning and when I honked the guy gave me the finger,” and replace it with: “I got cut off in traffic this morning by this guy in an Ed Hardy shirt. I honked and then he gave me the finger!” The story will become sixty percent more interesting to white people because it allows them to make a witty response like: “I guess that douche bag had to get to a UFC party or a nightclub event he was promoting.”

Follow this up with a laugh, a high five, and a compliment about the acceptable shirt the white person is wearing and you will find yourself with a new friend.

To prepare for the evening...

In order to prepare myself for this evenings festivities Owen has taught me some words to yell at the a-holes from Surrey.

chupkar! (quiet)
pattala kuti! (skinny bitch)
comkar! (get back to work)

Got these ones on lock. Watch out Surriannnns..

Stay safe tonight Whistler friends.

My family.. killing life.

My cousin Paul who lives in Hong Kong has just helped with the funding of a school in the name of his parents (my aunt and uncle).

The school's in Sri Lanka in a small village where families earn an average of 5 US dollars a month.

If I am ever as ballin' as he is I hope I can do the same thing for my parents.

Paul & Cindy J. Killing life!

My rediscovery of the OC has made me go download crazy.
Go get Alexi Murdoch's Time Without Consequence right now.

1. All My Days

2. Breathe

3. Home

4. Song For You

5. Dream About Flying

6. Wait

7. Love You More

8. Blue Mind

9. Shine

10. 12

11. Orange Sky

So mellow, so good!

THE END OF IZZY STEVENS?!

We will find out tonight.
Predictions? (Don't tell me if you've already seen it, i realize Ontario is a few time zones ahead.)

Ironic or just plain bad ass?

This has become my favourite website.

I have become a ring fan.

AH!

SOMEONE GET ME A 2010 PRIUS FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
This makes mine look sad.
Click here for more.

THE OC..cntd.

After much contemplation as well as the resurrection of my once beloved OC playlist, Mazzy Star's Into Dust wins for the best song ever to hit the OC.

Ecouter-


The Canucks also lost tonight which puts my hopes for cheering for a winning NHL team on hold for yet another year. NOW I remember why I quit the Leafs... losing sucks and results in watching Kenny Vs. Spenny for an hour. (PS. For all you Branksomites, the "Who Do Old People Like Better" episode features our favourite overpass in a driving shot, and Steph willl appreciate that Kenny sends his old ladies to get their nails done at "nail studio" on Bayview)

I guess you can't win em all. However you can ALWAYS win with a post-game McDonalds McFlurry. Rolo-Smarties flavour, obvi.

There's always next season...

rain rain go the fuck away!

I do wish it would stop raining for a bit so I wouldnt have to put on this nice outfit to bike over to Jason's to watch the game.

Ya, thats right. I'm a Canucks fan now (sorry Leafs but you really do suck). Luckily I have found a ride so I wont get absolutely drenched. Hooray for leaving the house for the first time today!
GO CANUCKS!

MAMMA.

This one's dedicated to Mama J. Hard to be a good daughter on this day when you're on the other side of the country but i'm trying my best!


My internet flowers were a hit! Not only arrived on time but also look just fabulous (Thank you Mom for sending me a pic)!

iChats!

Wish I could be hangin with this lady today. LOVE YOU MAMMA!

I'm in Miami bitch!

Though it's only May 9, today was the first day I participated in lying in the sun.Still pasty as fuck but im getting there! HELLOOOO SUMMER!

The OC..the playlist.

We all can admit that we've watched it at some point in our lives, but what was really substantial about my OC experience was the soundtrack to every episode. The fact that i'm still throwing these songs on when I cant think of anything else to listen to has gotta mean somthing, right?

Let us begin.



Though I dont associate this song with this particular moment in the show, listening to it on my iPod to this day puts a smile on my face no matter what. You know those times when you're just walking with headphones and some song makes you happy? This one does it ever time.



Frig this one's a good one too. I used to have a playlist of songs from the show and this was always at the top.



If you're actually going to be interested in a song and listen to it, this is the one. It not only screams the OC but is fan freakin tastic just as it is.



Hot damn, remeber this cover?! Made this song 100 times more amazing.



This is maybe the most epic moment in the shows history, and the song is perfect. So good, no matter who's actually dying in Mexico. Probably would even go along with the Swine Flu. (PS joke I heard the other day. They said Obama would become President when pigs fly.. and guess what? SWINE FLU!)





The god damn finale. I have never cried more watching a TV show or movie than I did watching this. Jesus it was just done SO WELL. (remeber this? ... another fantastic song and another fantastic OC moment.)

The song rules and when Imogen Heap covered it with only vocals later in the show I decided the woman who runs music for the show was an absolute genius. Then I got to see Imogen sing it live.

Now go download these songs and make yourself an OC playlist. I promise it'll be one of the best you ever create. GOD DAMN miss you OC.

GAMER.

I have officially become a gamer. Here are 2 of my favourites.

Pandamic II. Kill the world with swine flu! Literally! In this lovely game you create a virus and control it so that it kills everyone in the world. Pleasant, right?

Note I failed at the game because Madagascar closed the damn boarders before anyone got infected. HATING MADAGASCAR!Argentina also sucked, but I did manage to kill everyone in Greenland before I got bored and quit.

Game II- Farm Frenzy Pizza Party. This one was on shockwave and though I was a little confused when the panda bears attacked my chickens it was pretty fun and super basic. Get your chickens to lay eggs, sell them for money, or alternatively make them into other things which i'm assuming eventually leads to the creation of a pizza.... I didnt get far enough along.

Me with 2 chickens and a freakin PLANE. Winning at life.. or losing.. you decide.

cutest roomates this side of highway 99..

better late than never..

RIP apk.

Thanks to Chris and Marc for all the good times.

BABIES.

If I ever have a child I hope he/she will be as stylish as this youngster.

puke in my mouth..

You may or may not know that I have no like for whoever those losers are that made jiz in my pants and especially despise i'm on a boat. That being said this is fucking hilarious.



girl powa!

facebook taking it too far?

You can now become a fan of Swine Flu. Too far?

hello boredom.

sometimes we get bored on crabapple drive and when that happens crazy things go down. adam dani and i learned to breakdance so we shot a lil vid to showcase our talents. watch it here.

(thank you chippindale family for inspiring this)

get me a bike.

Doesnt have to be a Chanel like that one (though I wouldnt complain if it was) but WILL SOMEONE PLEASE FIND ME A BIKE! I need to get around this town and after my near death incident on the bus yesterday i'm starting to get desperate.

Saviour of life Sir Adam Chuntz drove me and the betch around today to the bike sale (all too expensive and hardcore), the reuse it center (selling a gem for 100 dollars.. WHY!), and then 2 garage sales but I still somehow managed to leave bike-less! Needing to get on this asap, help me out if you can please oh please.